Red Flag

Red flags that a person with narcissistic traits exhibits:

-They make you feel sorry for them.

-They make you feel so much compassion for them,

that you turn a blind eye to the things you would normally react to.

-They talk badly about old boyfriends, friends, girlfriends, etc., and often completely out of proportion...that they are mentally ill, or excessively jealous.

-They make you feel special as soon as you meet. They say you're special and that you have a special bond, and that they've never experienced anything like it.

end. They are the luckiest people on earth to have found someone like you.

-They make you feel guilty when you start pointing out that their words versus actions don't match up. They'll say that you have no idea how much they do for you, how much they try, and then all you do is complain and be dissatisfied.

-They often demand a lot from you, care, love, your time, advice, etc. and they don't give the same in return. Not even financially. It's one-way.

-It's always about what others have done to them and they don't take responsibility or see their own mistakes. They try to manipulate you into taking responsibility by listening to them and justifying their actions.

-When you point out or hold the person accountable for their actions, they often disappear from the relationship without a goodbye or explanation. You for "The silent treatment"

Do you know someone like that?

I do.

I've had a few girlfriends who have behaved like this. Fortunately, they are out of my life a long time ago. The worst thing is when they do "scare campaigns" about you, after you've had enough. They tell everyone what you've done and why, and because you're the adult and could never dream of doing the same thing, yeah, the tendency is unfortunately that you're the one in a bad light.

Just stand by yourself. You know the truth, and so do the people who know you and value your friendship.

The people who seem to want to interfere and have an explanation or something about the way someone else says you have been are not people you should use for anything, as they do not have the values that you have. You should never be responsible for anyone other than yourself and the person this concerns.

The concept is called "The flying Monkeys"

These are the people who allow themselves to be manipulated by the narcissist into believing that you are a terrible person and who will make you "punish" or otherwise hold you accountable for "the actions" that the narcissist accuses you of. They can also be people who pretend to be friends, so to speak, to the narcissist.

The flying monkeys are people who are in cahoots with someone who is manipulating them. They just haven't figured it out yet, because they think they are doing something good for this "hurt" person.