Invisible traumas – the wounds we don't call wounds

Introduction – what we don't see

Not all wounds bleed. Some hide behind a smile, a strong facade, or a quiet composure.

We call them invisible traumas – small, daily events that settle into our bodies and shape how we live, love and react.

2. What is a trauma?

A trauma is not just something dramatic.

As Peter Levine says:

“Trauma is not what happened – but what remained in the body afterwards.”

A trauma occurs when something exceeds your ability to accommodate it.

The nervous system goes into alarm and stays there.

The body remembers it even when the mind forgets.

3. The major traumas – the ones we recognize

• Assaults, accidents, violence, war, deaths

• Sudden shock or serious illness

• Major losses, disasters, crises

They are called “major T-traumas.” They are recognized, recorded, treated.

4. The small traumas – the ones we overlook

This is where most of us live. The little wounds that never got a name.

Examples of invisible trauma:

• When you were overlooked, even though you cried.

• When you learned to be the strong one.

• When you were praised for being easy, instead of being understood.

• When the silence at home made you feel unsafe.

• When love felt conditional.

• When you were constantly walking on eggshells to avoid anger.

• When you never had to fill, make noise, demand.

Small experiences. But repeated a thousand times, they become a condition of life.

5. The body's memory – when the mind doesn't remember

According to:

• Peter Levine: trauma is frozen as energy in the body.

• Gabor Maté: suppression of emotions can lead to illness.

• Pete Walker: “emotional flashbacks” cause adults to react like children in danger.

• Irene Lyon: Healing is about reconnecting with the body, slowly and gently.

Typical signs of invisible trauma:

• Unexplained anxiety or restlessness

• Perfectionism or overresponsibility

• Difficulties with boundaries

• Fatigue or insomnia

• Lack of joy or spontaneity

6. Invisible traumas in everyday life

They show up in everything we think is just “the way we are”:

• You say yes even though you mean no.

• You only notice yourself when you are alone.

• You comfort others before you comfort yourself.

• You feel wrong even when no one criticizes you.

• You feel physically ill when someone raises their voice.

7. To begin to see what was not seen

Healing starts when you stop apologizing for your reactions.

When you begin to understand that they were once your salvation.

As Gabor Maté says:

“The question is not what is wrong with you – but what has happened to you.”

8. Small reflection for the reader

Think of one experience from your childhood that you still remember as “harmless.”

How did you react then – and do you do the same today?

It can be the first step to seeing the invisible layers of yourself.

9. Conclusion

Invisible trauma is not a judgment, but a call for contact.

When we learn to feel, release, and understand them, we become whole again – not because the past is changed, but because we are finally allowed to be the one who feels.